Day 3

1. I very much didn't want to go into work today because of this project that gives me endless migraines. I decided to go into work with a positive attitude and I beat that project's ass!

2. My boss and I had a meeting of all the things that she had to do while I'm away on vacation in a couple of weeks and instead of giving me negative feedback like she normally does, she actually said I did a good job preparing and was very detailed (which I take pride in)

3. Usually at work, I have a very apathetic attitude towards my co-workers plans for the week and/or weekend. But today I decided to be interested in their conversation and actually had pretty pleasant conversations with them and it made the workday not so bad.

4. Today my sister got her results back from the doctor and she doesn't have cancer! Which is a positive thing, but she does have celiac disease, which is a negative thing. She has to go gluten-free for the rest of her life. So in support of my sister, I decided to go gluten-free as well. I probably should anyway to be honest. I'm actually kind of excited about this. Pinterest has all these awesome ideas for gluten free diets and there are apps for your phone to help you find restaurants that have gluten free menu items. It'll be hard for the first month or so, but I'll get used to it.

5. I biked for 6 miles today!

<3 Chelsea

Day Two Electric Boogaloo

I really didn't do much today to be positive or negative but I'll post a couple positive things

1. ran one mile in 2 minutes less than what I did yesterday and also biked 2 more miles in 20 minutes than I did yesterday

2. finally caught up with Dexter and now I can watch it live on Sunday nights

3. forced my mom to go to the gym with me today because she made a commitment and if I'm sticking to it, she does also. She was grateful after we went.

4. I did laundry without having to motivate myself to do it, I just did it, which is weird for me

5. I had 2 healthy meals today and didn't binge eat like I've been doing for the past 6 months. I missed breakfast because I slept in and then immediately went to the gym. But, hey, eating a healthy lunch and dinner is better than nothing!

6. I just deleted all my drafts that were just really sad, depressing posts that I decided was best not to post at the time. Ain't got no time for that ish anymore!

I'm a little excited to do these lists during the work week. It'll be a lot harder to find things to be positive about, and I like a challenge.

<3 Chelsea

Positive Peter

So I read this article about positivity (is that a word? Because Blogger isn't recognizing it) and I got inspired. Everyday I'm going to post in my blog all the good things that have happened in my day. I tend to only look at negative things and I have become EXTREMELY cynical these past few months and I don't want to live that way. I got a pretty good life and others don't so I have to stop taking advantage. I'm always harping about wanting to be happy but I think happiness stems from my attitude and blossoms from there!


Here's today's list.

1. I went to the gym for the second day in a row which is a record for me
2. I ran 5 miles at said gym
3. I watched a movie and ate dinner with my brother which we don't do enough
4. Clueless was on TV


That's all I have for today but I'm hoping this little experiment will result in a more positive attitude. :)

5 month misunderstanding

We thought what the other needed was space. What we needed was each other.

Flightless Bird

So here we are again. And once again I have not fulfilled my New Year's resolution of writing in my blog more. Sorry guys. I know you wish you had more of my whiney, angsty realizations. So lets see what has happened in my life since what February?

Hmm, well at that point I was just going through a couple hard friendship "breakups". It was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do up until this point in my life. I was very sad and zombie-like for a long time. People would talk to me and I would answer and go through the motions of the day but I wouldn't ever really know what I was saying or doing. I just did it. Wash, rinse and repeat for about a month. The "break up" part sounds silly but it's something that had to be done for my well being and theirs. Even while I was depressed and upset over it all, I still felt it was the right thing to do and I had no regrets. Everything always resolves itself in the end, I just had to get through it. That's all I had to do. Get through it.

And I did! Even now, I give myself credit for being able to do it. I've never considered myself a strong emotional person, I stand my ground often enough and have my opinions, but when it comes to people I love, I will let you walk all over me and be very content about it. There wasn't a doubt in my mind that I wouldn't have gone crawling back, being that pathetic, sad girl but I knew what I was doing was something that I had to do to become "right" again, whole even. So I held my stance.

It all did me good. I met Bob via OK Cupid which was the guy I had blogged about going on a good date with. Bob was what I needed, I believe, to get me through whatever it was I was going through. He was absolutely not my type at all. At that point, I had decided that the type I go for are people who are slightly broken themselves. I go for guys who I can mend and take care of. In the end, I was always the one getting hurt. I'm not saying the guys I've been with were out to hurt me, that's just the way the cookie crumbled. Anyway, this time around I decided to put away all the judgments and opinions I have of my perfect man and just accept someone. Let them in. So that's what I did with Bob. He was quiet but talked to me. Literally  had no opinions about anything, which at the time I thought was good because I have plenty opinions about things and I needed someone to balance me out. Turns out, I like to be challenged. He liked house music (that was a hard one to get by) and he didn't talk about music. Which I loved. I have a hard time, even now, listening to anyone talk about music. It gives me memories I'd rather not have. Bob liked to drink and go out which was a plus. He had a real job and his own apartment. And it didn't hurt that he was good in bed. But after about a month of dating him, I got bored and didn't have that same positive energy I had about going to see him. I stopped caring. So I decided to end things with him.

I realized that while Bob was an excellent step towards the right direction, I just didn't want to be with anyone but myself. That sounds weird and super self-centered but honestly it's how I felt. I still hung out with friends and had a good time but I stopped looking for someone to be with which for a long time was my main goal in life.

I still have a hard time trusting people. I don't really have a "best" friend anymore. I don't really confide in anyone anymore. I've learned to forgive but have learned enough lessons in my life so far to not fully forget, so I keep my guard up.

I've been spending alot of time on my own. Which is usually something I tried to steer clear from in the past. Fear of being alone. But I kind of like it. I mean, a few months ago if I was alone, I'd be in tears and thinking about everything that I lost all the time. I couldn't be alone, I was a wreck. But now, I'm truly and wholly my own person. I don't think about the past anymore as if it is dead. I'm more happy than I've ever been.

In my alone time, I've been reading alot. To a point where I made a deal with myself that after I read this book that I'm on now, I will take a break from reading and go out and be a 24-year-old. I fear that I will take this preferring to be by myself thing too seriously and stay home all the time. Never go out and face life. So I'm gonna do that....in 10 more chapters.

Just went on the first positive dating experience in my life. But don't want to get my hopes up. It was really great though. :)

Bad at titles

Like I say every year, I'm going to start blogging more often. I swear!