Unemployment

So since quitting my job last Wednesday, I've been doing alot of sitting around and thinking. I've come to many realizations:

1. People who say "funemployment" when they are unemployed are idiots

2. I should drink more tea, there seems to be an absurd amount at my house so I think I'm going to get into it

3. I've watched aloooooot of TV shows in their entirety in the past year

4. I depend on people too much. Not saying that I can't depend on people but I think I need to start helping myself instead of turning to others to solve my problems.

5. I decided to take a break from drinking for money reasons and I think along with people I depend on alcohol to solve my problems for a night or two then am left to pick up the pieces later. Being a dependent on those two things is a very dangerous thing in itself

6. I'm going to take a step in the right direction and forgive those that I just couldn't in the past. Not that they were waiting for my forgiveness but I think I need to put the past in the past and leave it there for my own well being. I've been holding on to this one thing for so long that it's literally making me go crazy. I find myself not trusting anyone and being insecure. I question my relationships with people almost on a daily basis and that's the least healthy thing I can do right now.

7. I'm going to move on and it will be the hardest thing to do

I've come to realize that when I miss someone, like really miss them, I'm a complete bitch to them until I see them again. So then all the time we talk in between seeing each other is wasted because I react to things inappropriately.

I need to get my act together.

I have absolutely no idea where I'm going with any aspect of my life.

Seems like things always end terribly no matter what I do.

Fuck man, why can't I just be happy?

You ever have the feeling that you will never get over something ever. I'm going to die feeling this empty.